The death of a horse, specifically the euthanasia of a horse, profoundly impacts and affects me.
I think that people that have never loved a horse, or have never witnessed one dying can never fully understand this.
To me the horse is the most beautiful animal on earth.
I’ve always been lost in horses, as many young girls seem to be.
Many outgrow it.
I never did.
To watch a horse move – is breathtaking.
When they have their mane blowing in the wind and their tail out and they run across a field, there is no way that I could ever not stop to watch. When I am 98 and in a wheelchair, I will still stop that chair, and suck in my breath and be amazed at how a horse moves. I will stare and not allow myself to move until the horse has ceased moving.
I’ll never forget the first time I smelled a horse.
Or touched their velvety nose.
When they blow into my nostrils and invite me to be a friend to them….or when I’m riding one and we move together through the woods.
I am 46 years old, and it is still a thrill, and still special …every single time.
The horse has always been magical to me.
I could use so many words to describe a horse and what a horse has always done for me …and always meant to me, but no words can really ever explain it.
Those that have this connection to horse – well, they already KNOW.
And they read this and they nod.
Because they know exactly what I am talking about.
There is no other relationship like that – like the one between you and a horse.
It is different from that of you and a friend, or a spouse, or even a dog or other animal.
It is not MORE special or LESS special than those – it is just different.
It is a relationship that transcends normal words.
It is a relationship that is a connection of your soul to another’s soul.
You FEEL them.
You know they FEEL you.
I really can’t explain it any other way.
To have the love of a horse, to share the life of a horse, is an amazing privelege and an amazing adventure.
To watch one die is shattering.
Unlike a small animal, there is no calm passing.
There is no gentle easing of the spirit into the next world.
There is no sleeping, and then passing gently.
They do not lay down.
They do not close their eyes and let death quietly take them.
A tremendous force in the world is simply snuffed out.
A light is on.
And then it is off.
…and that magnificent, beautiful, glorious creature…crashes to the ground.
It is like the crushing of a flower under your heel.
So much power.
So much intense beauty…simply gone in a blink of an eye.
And that is why I mourn so much.
I didn’t want to go today to see Noble go.
I never WANT to participate in this.
But I feel that it is my responsibility.
A terrible burden of responsibility that I would give anything to take off my shoulders…but also know that I could never, ever, ever live with myself if I did not shoulder that weight to be there for a friend as he left the world. I could not look at myself in the mirror.
It feels heinous to me to have loved an animal and let them pass without your love present, and your acknlowledgement of their life, and a whisper to them to carry with them.
It is such a paradox. So unfair. That the most beautiful creature on earth dies in such a horrible way. It is awful. It seems wrong. And it damages the heart to watch such a breathtaking animal die like that. It isn’t just my deep love for him and knowing him for so many years…it is the death of such a kind as he, in such a manner.
So my gift to all of you that have never loved a horse is this…go develop a relationship with one.
You don’t have to ride them.
In fact riding a hack horse at a stable usually leaves me feeling empty…and sad.
But go and volunteer with a horse somewhere and build a relationship with one.
I will promise you that you will never feel the same.
That you will have found something that will fill your soul up.
You will have found something that can empty your mind, de-stress your body, and take you to another place for a little while.
You’ll never love anything or anyone the way that you can love a horse.
I can never explain it in words to you, and so I simply give you the gift of urging you to find a horse…and love him.